Play & Change

Children and young animals discover the world through play. By the time most people have reached adulthood, the playful curiosity they once had has been diminished or destroyed to a great extent. We live in a society, where playfulness, sillyness, lightness are not valued a lot. Traditional psychodynamic therapies  are no different - there's a big focus on the heavy and the serious.

I think, as therapists we need to help people to rediscover an easy-going attitude towards life. For the toddler falling while he learns to walk again is no big drama - the child gets up again and practices until finally has mastered the new skill. Our neurotic clients are already caught in a loop of repetetive heaviness and suffering. By helping them to adopt a lighter and more life affirming attitude, we can encourage them to take on new perspectives and learn new skills in an experimental manner rather than to continue with their life & or death seriousness.

While we still need to put in the work and deal with the frustration of learning new skills, developing a playful beginner's mind can make all the difference. When the therapist can show curiosity, openness and lightheartedness, it makes it easier for the client to develop such an attitude.

I think this is what the New Testament means when Jesus says, "Unless you repent and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."

To revitalize the playful, curious openness of the child, we once were, removes the clutter of the neurotic defenses - or by removing the neurotic clutter, the client rediscovers the little inside of them, that they once were.

"The Kingdom of Heaven" is being able to be present in the here & now, unrestricted and undistorted by past experiences that have not been properly processed and integrated. To become childlike is not to be mistaken with becoming childish, immature. It takes a mature, adult self that can handle the difficulties of adult life in order to allow the playfulness of the child.